In the beginning everything felt heavy. My first stock had already shaken my confidence. The fear of the unknown had already made things dark. But what made it worse, was something I didn’t want to admit; my ego.
Opportunities were there left, right and center waiting to be explored, simple ones, honest ones, selling on the street, starting small and learning from the ground up. But I couldn’t do it, not because I wasn’t capable or it wouldn’t work.
But because of how it looked, selling on the street is no luxury and always people have two assumptions of either your stock is fake or stolen. I had told myself that this isn’t me, people will judge me and What will others say if they see me here? So I stayed stuck.
I didn’t call it ego at the time, but I called it; having standards – I cannot look like many others who sell snacks and cigarettes’ on the streets, to make it look cool I was waiting for the right opportunity and would not settle for less.
But deep down, it was fear of being seen starting small, misunderstood and not matching the image I had of myself and that fear kept me from moving.
While I was busy protecting my image, I was losing something more valuable. I wasn’t learning or growing or adapting, but I was just waiting. And waiting, in a world that rewards action, becomes its own kind of loss.
Ego is expensive it kept me from selling when I should have and it kept me from starting when I could have. I wanted to look like I knew what I was doing way before I actually knew what I was doing.
What I didn’t understand then is that every successful person has a phase that doesn’t look impressive. The phase where no one is watching, where things feel uncomfortable and where your pride gets tested.
The truth is that’s not failure, but training.
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